I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
