Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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