How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
