Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
