dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I've blown a few things in my day
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
