I'm so fucking centered right now
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
