Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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