So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
