:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
