dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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