i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
