she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
