Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
