i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
