the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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