That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
