She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
