What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
