Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
