Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Randomize
