Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
