We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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