i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
