Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
