i jhust puked up my retainher.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
