she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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