Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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