Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
