sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
