did you get engaged???
I puked a lego.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She bit a glass in half.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
