Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
