How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
birth control should be required to get into college
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
