it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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