I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Randomize
