In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
