these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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