i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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