well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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