Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
