he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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