nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
