i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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