Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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