Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
