Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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