Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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