i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
