pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
We're too hungover to prance.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
