your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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