This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
